You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
only if we run a train.
done.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
