I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Less talking, more tequila
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
