"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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