i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
