Apparently you make a good broom.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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