pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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