totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just high enough for therapy.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
