On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake đź‘Ś
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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