you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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