good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
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