That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
