16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize