Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
