I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
