? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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