You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
