so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
