I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
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