I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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