I hope mine doesn't look like that
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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