I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
