I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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