haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
