I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
