hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
