Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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