If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize