remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
