So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
