Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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