If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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