I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I had to cum in my sink.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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