All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
