at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
two words: eviction party
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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