Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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