There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize