I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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