Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
