thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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