Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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