why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
