She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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