Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Randomize
