i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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