Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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