I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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