The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
