All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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