i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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