There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
why do cheetos always look like penises
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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