It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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