Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20

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(404): View more from Georgia

i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.

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(718): View more from New York

Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.

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(231): View more from Michigan

I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs

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(206): View more from Washington

Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.

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(530): View more from California

Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me

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(206): View more from Washington

I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week

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