Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
