I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
