What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
