im six kinds of drunk right now
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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