I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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