is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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