is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
