and next time when you feel me up, do it right
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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