Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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