He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize